Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Gay Men vs Lesbians ... Or Not

“Gay men may seek sex without emotion; lesbians often end up in emotion without sex.”
- Camille Paglia

I used this quotation to start off a paper I had to write for my Intro to LGBT Literature class. It kind of fitted with what I was writing about, but the real reason why I used it was it is so stereotypical. Everyone always hears about lesbian bed death … even straights. It’s crazy. The paper was about two poems, both written by lesbians, both very erotic. This quotation was just such a great contrast to those poems. It helped that one of my arguments was the poets go against the grain with their poems and, well, lesbians having hot lesbian sex is the complete opposite of lesbian bed death … don’t ya think?

The End of a First

Well, my freshman year of college is almost over. My last final is Friday.

Am I pysched?

Not really.

I, unlike all my friends, will not be going home to my friends who went to different schools. Those friends are in another state, almost another time zone. Nope, I'm stuck without friends. Sure, my best friend is coming up for a week and my mom and I are already planning a road trip back to where I went to high school ... but it's not the same. Instead of hanging out at the local malls or at a friends' houses, I am going to be either working, or be bored in my room. I do not really know anyone who lives near me. Doesn't help that we just moved, yet again, after living in the other house for only a year, and I didn't even know people there. I'm at school most of the time, only home on the weekends.

My roommate is still getting on my nerves and it sucks. We were getting along great until last week. I was actually going to be sad about leaving, not anymore. I will be so glad to get away from her, it's not even funny ... and I feel horrible about this. I don't want to feel this way. Back before last week, we were talking and I told her she had to make sure to be hear Thursday night, so we can watch the season finale of CSI. We've been watching it every week this semester and before, it wouldn't be the same without her. Now, I wish she was done with finals tomorrow so she would go home. Alas, we have the same class and so we both have the same last final.

I hope that this blog will one day be happy ... or at least more than just me ranting. That would be very nice. I am considering starting daily posts. I will be posted another entry, not too long after this, as an example of what I hope to do. Who knows, maybe I'll actually keep up with it ... don't hold your breath though.

J School

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

A Silent, but Occupied, Dorm Room

Okay, so, I've ranted to two different friends now and I feel like ranting again.

Roommates can be bitches sometimes, even if friendly most of the time. Oh, yea, and it seems like they always choose the best, and worst, time possible to be bitchy.

For instance, today, my roommate and I were all happy and getting along as per usual until she made a comment. For those of you who don't know me, I am overweight. I admit and I have accepted it. I'm working on losing weight, but that takes time. Anyway, I made a joke about not wanting a premade care package from the school because there was no junk food in it. Roommate decided to tell me this was bad. I brushed it off and said that I didn't care. She then proceeded to tell me junk food was unhealthy for me. NO FUCKING DUH! She says this like it is something that I don't already know. So, anyway, now I'm pissed. Also, she often makes comments like this, saying that I need to go to the gym with her and lose some weight with her. WTF? I'm sorry, but between the two of us, one has lost enough weight to be down two pant sizes since school started, the other, has gained weight. Now, which one of us has lost? Oh yea, that would ME.

So, anyway, I have spoken maybe five words to her since this instance, which, by the way, happened a little over three hours ago. I do not know if she has realized that I am pissed and if she has, I have a feeling that she does not know WHY I am pissed. Right now, I could give a damn. I like the quiet. I can think. I don't have to listen to her babble and whine about being fat and her boyfriend who is obviously completely wrong for her and treats her like shit but she loves him. I'm sorry, I was empathetic at the beginning, but if you complain so much about him and how he treats you like shit, why is he here every other weekend? Why did he spend his ENTIRE Spring Break in our room?

Okay, maybe I am over-reacting a bit, but this is the worst time EVER. Finals are going to start on Saturday (at least for me). I'm tired. I was sick yesterday. I'm not sleeping well. I'm stressed. I'm overworked. I am up at 7am every effing morning. Oh, and she knows all this. She was here when I skipped my second class on yesterday. She knows how much sleep I get. She's in the room. She can hear me tossing and turning all night. But she still decides to say shit that is so judgemental and that she SHOULD be saying to herself. Does she say these things to herself? NO. She says them to me. Well I am sick and tired of hearing them.

I did not think I would be doing this, but I am counting down the days until I move out and get away from her. I hate that I am saying this. We had been getting along so well. Why did she have to go and screw it up but opening her big fat mouth? Now, I know I am not being the bigger person here, but I need to rant. I'll probably end up apologizing for my behavior tomorrow even though I have not done anything that really needs to be ap;ogized for. I bet she doesn't apologize. Oh well. Live and let go.

Right?